Relevancy of Video Games in My Life

For most of my life I’ve been into video games, it’s one of those things I know I adore, to the point of even wanting to develop my own, I know for a fact that the medium drives me. So, why is that the case? What compels me to indulge hours of my life to it? From childhood to adulthood, what role has video games truly played?

From childhood, I wasn’t exactly the most active kid, nor did I really go out much, outside of school and family events, when it wasn’t homework, watching TV or anything else a child is known to do, the thing I remember doing most was playing video games.

We all start from somewhere.

With the vague memory of seeing a Sonic 1 cartridge before laying my hands knowingly on any controller, my older brother introduced me to a PlayStation 2, its backwards compatibility and a copy of Street Fighter EX Plus Alpha. I was thrust into battles against my brother, causing frustration of not being capable of beating him, that did not stop me from continuing to play the game with him or alone. Street Fighter EX Plus Alpha was literally my go-to game when it came to console gaming, due to the amount of hours I spent playing the game as a child, I wouldn’t be surprised that it’s actually my most played video game, I was compelled to spend a lot of my free time on it, simply because it was fun. Eventually, mom bought a Game Boy Advance and Sonic Advance along with it, allowing the freedom to play the video games I played at home anywhere, giving my introverted self something that could support me when I did leave the house for family, video games were comfort. Video games were always some form of comfort for me, like a life-long therapist, on bad days they were usually there for me to ease my mind, a reward to unwind after any kind of work. I was not great at opening up about myself, somehow not really feeling the need to until my 20’s, I guess my coping mechanism for anything troubling me throughout my life was video games and any other medium I consumed and honestly it’s weird to come to that realization. While I didn’t seek video games for answers in my life, the games I wanted to play, ended up shaping me in some fashion, Final Fantasy, Persona, Metal Gear Solid, since I did value a good story in video games, despite valuing great gameplay as well, I’m grateful for what I have learned from these experiences.

Life is a struggle, video games are a medium that explores that struggle in a way that people are capable of controlling, even when games do their best to test your patience, frustrate you, the thing that drives you is the thought that you’re going to prove to yourself that you’re capable of overcoming the challenge as you can any that comes your way in your life. In some weird way, I think this is where I inherit this subconscious confidence in myself and I feel it comes from the challenges I’ve overcome in the video games I’ve played, maybe it’s my optimistic nature, but I know I don’t see myself as someone who’s confident in everything they do, I just feel it deep down that I can do mostly anything I put the effort in doing. As cheesy as it sounds, I’ve looked at video games as a reason to never give up on living life, to continue fighting the fight, and I find that one of the many values of the medium.

Keep moving forward.

Being a person born in the 90’s, my influence and taste mostly derives from video games, my interest in Sci-Fi, Martial Arts, Fantasy, attributes to video games, even if they weren’t the only medium I consumed, they for sure played a part. The many aspects of life I can say I appreciate more, due to video games actually exposing them to me, aesthetics/design, art, fashion, nature, especially music, like other forms of media, these things get explored, yet video games are interactive. Developers are capable of sharing so much of their inspirations and ideas to the people who invest in their work, in an overall package that delivers on what you’d expect from novels and films, this is how the people who play these video games become inspired themselves.

All my life I had this yearning to create and impact, video game development was a priority for me in this case, and this is a tough subject for me to touch on, but it’s something I still feel strongly about despite everything that scares me away from AAA video game development, indie development sounds so much more appealing to me, with all the concepts I’ve come up for games I’d love to develop, I’d have to put in the work to even get those concepts across. I’ve taken the advice to at least start something to heart, with an inner fire to start small and work with my creativity.

The Sonic franchise clearly had a influence on me growing up and it still provides a style I adore.

Human connection, one of the key aspects for our survival, as an introvert who usually prefers their alone time, I cannot put it lightly how much video games have connected me to the people of this world, how fond memories with family etched by their existence, school more exciting with possibilities of meeting and mingling with like-minded enthusiasts, the internet especially, with all of its potential reminds me that despite my continuous struggle of facing who I truly am, there’s someone in this world that I can connect with on some level. At the end of the day, video games are a form of escapism, it’s simply a way to have experiences in virtual worlds in a fashion that allows us to get immersed, by our own will and interaction, that interaction is liberating in the fact that video games can offer a variety of expressions, never completely tied down to realism, as the core of a video game is abstract, the possibilities of what you can personally experience in video games are tantalizing. On that note, there’s no restriction for an assigned male at birth to play a video game with playable female characters, unless age and sexual content plays into effect, this is another aspect of the medium that I find increasingly significant in my life. There’s inherently an appeal to this option, giving women something to identify with in a once predominantly masculine market, the obvious sex appeal too, but what if there was a fascination to explore femininity?

I hesitated to play FFX-2 until recently and honestly I don’t regret starting it.

As someone questioning their gender identity/sexual orientation, even after confirming that they’re non-binary, it’s a bit of a rocky road to actually express myself in a way that’s not typical of who I originally identified as, and it’s a feeling that I pretty much have daily. While this is going on, I had this realization that I wanted to consume feminine media, from stuff like FFX-2, Totally Spies, Paradise Kiss, and how dominating the male image was in video games, there’s a ton of games with female protagonists, a female character in general, but how many actually fit the experience I wanted in my mind? I did feel this urge to explore expressing myself femininely with a female character, but there wasn’t enough freedom with what I did consume, until I watched Transparency’s Queer Fantasy video, the more I saw the potential of what I could do in Final Fantasy XIV, after so long contemplating if I should give it a shot, to which I finally gave in. As much as I would have loved the option to cross-dress freely as a male avatar or having a non-binary avatar, just the option to play the role as a female avatar was enough to satisfy me, basically creating an avatar that I found appealing, but reflecting elements of myself, in the end I just needed a safe outlet to express myself in a way I’ve found interest in. While I was never much into MMORPGs, I have to say even if it’s overwhelming for me so far, Final Fantasy XIV has been an appealing, captivating and liberating experience, it truly is like my beloved single-player Final Fantasy games, except online-based and basically a fashion simulator. I get to fully immerse myself in this expansive fantasy world, accompanied by real people, and an avatar I can self-identify with, it’s like a whole new realm entirely unexplored. Gratefully, I will continue playing Final Fantasy XIV as a game I can fall back on, to support me in exploring my identity, with the limitless amount of video games and their continuous growth in scale, I know that this medium will always have a place in my heart.

Game Talk Vol. 1: Doki Doki Shoot ‘Em Up Panic

Game Talk, with this new format I can allow myself to communicate my thoughts and feelings on video games I’ve finished or played a decent amount of, from a variety of picks, that at least had a lasting impression on me. Honestly, I’ve been struggling a lot with actually publishing a blog, but this idea got me pretty excited, so I want to make use of it as much as I can. Either not feeling the need to share any of my insights, not having anyone I felt comfortable speaking to about them or spreading the love for the sake of spreading love. I want to feel free to say exactly how I feel about each game I mention.

Super Mario Odyssey

Being a big Sonic fan for most of my life, Mario’s latest 3D mainline title sure has me wishing Sonic himself got this level of quality with Sonic Forces. While it’s not my favorite Mario game as of now, this one thoroughly captivated me throughout, with its world travel premise that certainly gives Sonic Unleashed vibes, it calls back to the sense of freedom that Super Mario 64 and Sunshine contained. The fluid gameplay feel and depth in its move set, is a dream to experience, making even the slightest of movement a joy, I wouldn’t blame anyone for wanting to explore everything the game has to offer. With the hat spirit Cappy, Mario’s capable of possessing or capturing new and foes of the past, providing an interesting spin on power-ups and allowing more possibilities in exploration. The levels are classified as “Kingdoms” giving each a sense of place in the continuity of the Mario universe, with lore, inhabitants and their specific theme. It retroactively supports the existence of the Mushroom Kingdom that we’ve become accustomed to throughout the years, even if Nintendo decides to drop this specific continuity, not developing a sequel, it’s an effort in making Odyssey’s take on the Mario universe feel lived in. While I find continuing Odyssey’s post-game content a little daunting at the moment, slowly revisiting each kingdom to explore on my own terms, I can say for sure this is one of the best Mario games I’ve played in a while.

Stretch Panic

Treasure is pretty much my favorite video game dev, their games are some of the most imaginative, captivating and inspirational games for me. If I ever can develop my own games, Treasure’s influence would probably be front and center and it’s truly a shame we may never get any new games from them. The first game I finished in 2021 was this little gem by the name of Stretch Panic/Freak Out/Hippa Linda and as expected from Treasure this is one weird game, the game owns it as the Japanese boxart’s subtitle states “this is the unusual story of an unusual girl…” So about that story, Linda lives in a household with her 12 fashion obsessed sisters who boss Linda to buy groceries and cosmetics supply. During Linda’s errand, a mysterious truck passes her by, eventually arriving at her home delivering a large package, this package opens a dimension that’s supposedly hell, corrupting the sisters and by the time Linda comes back home has her beloved scarf, that was given to her from her late father possessed, leading to her mission of saving her 12 sisters.

With the game’s plot in mind, this game is unorthodox, it is not what you’d expect from a typical platformer, instead of having levels that challenge your platforming skills, this is mostly a boss-rush game ala Treasure’s Alien Soldier or Cuphead. Not that there isn’t levels in the game that resemble a somewhat traditional level structure, they’re more so used for you to earn points to exorcise, yes exorcise. Linda’s demon scarf can not only stretch, but exorcise each possessed sister as well, the catch is that both Linda and the demon scarf are controlled separately with the DualShock 2’s analog sticks, so it falls into the same realm of games as the Ape Escape or Katamari series. The game doesn’t do a good job at explaining itself or at least giving you a hint on the controls (unless you own the manual), so it took me until after I defeated every boss to realize that I had to exorcise them by pressing L3+R3, while grabbing hold. The controls can be a bit tricky to get a handle on at first, though as it happens with any game you get used to them, the gameplay is still held back by a lack of polish, not being able to switch targets while locked-on, the demon scarf having a depth perception issue where it isn’t always clear how it interacts with the objects in-game, despite that I find the game pretty fun. The boss fights are a major focus in this game, so it’s a treat to know that despite not being the best in execution control-wise, the boss fights are a highlight that’ll likely make you forgive its shortcomings. A collection of oddly charming bosses, that keep you coming for more, with their wacky designs and challenges even among the frustration, you’d want to overcome each battle, especially with Norio Hanzawa’s (NON, composer of Gunstar Heroes, Alien Solider and Sin & Punishment: Star Successor) soundtrack that complements the insanity, it’s one of a kind. Stretch Panic gives me vibes of a 3D Dynamite Headdy spiritual successor, with its art direction, it being another platformer from Treasure and the unique approach to the genre, sadly it doesn’t stack up to Dynamite Headdy or any of the greatest platformers. I think it could have been widely expanded on and in the end it comes off more like a tech demo, but it’s a game I definitely welcome with open arms.

Metal Black

If there’s one video game genre I’ve invested in more than any other these days, it’s shoot ’em ups. They’re usually quick instant gratification journeys into a variety of captivating video game worlds, packing the appeal of one of my favorite genres; JRPGs with their grand scopes, great music and saving the world premise. One day I tuned into a Twitch stream from Zoasty; a Super Metroid speedrunner, as he was playing through Saturn shoot ’em ups, one was Battle Garegga, which I’ve played and another called Metal Black. I didn’t have a clue about this Metal Black, but I was interested nonetheless, I got a little cautious about spoiling the experience for me on the stream, though I kind of got enticed into watching his skill and reactions to it. Eventually, he got a game over on the final level and from there I was motivated to finish the game on my own, because the game I experienced in that stream was one of the best shoot ’em ups I laid my eyes on.

Metal Black is a 1991 arcade shoot ’em up, developed by Taito, though it was later ported to the Sega Saturn in 1996, never released outside of Japan until the Taito Legends 2 compilation released on PS2. At a glance it comes across as a standard retro shooter, though the deeper you get into the game, the more it starts to exude this otherworldly aura and honestly that aspect of the game is what gravitates me to it. What makes Metal Black distinct, from the non-Taito shoot ’em ups, especially at the time, is its beam mechanic that can not only destroy enemies on its own, but initiate a beam struggle with the bosses if your beams clash, literally Dragon Ball type stuff in a shoot ’em up, inspiring Taito’s own G-Darius and G.rev’s Border Down with beam duels, and it’s pretty cool. Elevating the game on another level is its soundtrack, Zuntata, Taito’s house band is known for their experimental sound, with Yasuhisa Watanabe at the helm as composer, Metal Black ends up giving an aural experience that stuck with me even outside of the game, especially with stage one’s emotional “Born to Be Free”. I loved the game’s OST so much that it made me curious as to why the Darius games’ OSTs (“Self” from Darius Gaiden was the only track that did) didn’t resonate as much, checking out what others consider the best shoot ’em up game music as well, lately I found a new appreciation for the Zuntata band, with G-Darius’ probably being my personal favorite from them after replaying it and listening to its more popular tracks. Metal Black is a game that takes you on a space adventure like no other, it’s one that leaves you questioning the meaning behind its imagery, it’s one of my all-time favorite shooters and it’s opened a new gateway into the genre for me.

Samus Aran: The Power of Introversion

Nintendo’s icon of subversion, gaming’s shining representation of the heroine character, Samus Aran. If anyone knows me well, they know that Samus is one of those characters I tend to gravitate towards, though I’m sure you might be curious why that is the case? Starting from here, I want to deep dive into the video game characters I’ve cherished throughout the years.

Metroid is one of Nintendo’s many sci-fi franchises and our female hero Samus Aran, intergalactic bounty hunter with the skills to prove herself worthy of the title, solidified her importance in gaming and the franchise alike. What would Metroid be without Samus? If she wasn’t revealed as female? We can thank the Alien franchise for this with her inspiration from the female protagonist Ellen Ripley. It really breathes fresh air into a character, who appears as a masculine figure with her Power Suit.

6’3? Lady’s a giant!

Who’s to say that she doesn’t display masculinity, despite her femininity, Samus is usually portrayed as independent, confident, collected, strong and above all else brave. This portrayal of a female has definitely gotten praise and honestly it’s well deserved, there’s just something alluring about Samus that not many other female video game characters had replicated, at least for me. It’s so nice to see a character portrayed in this fashion, especially when they’re usually in isolation. It’s easy for us to see ourselves in her perspective, considering that she’s usually the silent-type character. Whatever emotions we might feel while playing the Metroid games, we could place onto Samus, allowing us to connect to her struggle even more.

Samus‘ unwavering determination in the fight against the Space Pirates, her bravery in overcoming the darkness and isolation of her mission, and her usual calm demeanor makes her an inspiration to me. It’s the typical heroism you’d expect from well a hero, but when it comes to Samus I’ve learned that as my life goes on, I can see myself transform into the kind of person that she is. Being quite the loner myself and one who’s not exactly the most masculine in the standard definition of the word, I tend to feel isolated from the world. Despite having family and friends who I can trust, I often feel misunderstood. Learning overtime that I should accept my introverted tendencies, to work around that and improve on myself by continuing to face my fears, challenging social norms. Samus is one of the few fictional characters I can look for comfort in. One who’s feminine, but carries a masculine allure to her. Who I can share these experiences with in-game form, someone who I can see myself in, it makes it all the more easy to feel a deep connection. She’s definitely one of the fictional characters I admire the most.

She’s a force to be reckoned with!

What about her feminine traits? In some of the Metroid games, at least the ones I’m familiar with, Metroid II: Return of Samus, Super Metroid and Metroid Fusion, we get a glimpse into how caring she is. In Metroid II, Samus eventually approaches a Metroid egg, it hatches and the Metroid confuses Samus as its mother. Despite Samus’ mission to exterminate every Metroid, she chooses to spare it. Metroid II, started the trend, then Super and Fusion followed suit. In Super Metroid, there’s the continued relationship between the baby Metroid and Samus. Samus really shows how she cares for the baby Metroid. From the very start of the game, you’re literally investigating the Ceres Station that Samus left the Metroid, where it’s researched by scientists. Eventually, you come across Ridley who’s taking it for himself with the implication that he was the one who attacked the station and killed the scientists. Samus’ mission was clear, to save the baby Metroid and defeat the Space Pirates in her path.

Super also introduced the Etecoons who teaches you how to wall jump and Dachora who teach you how to Shinespark, they appear again during the game’s final escape sequence and could be rescued. Later in Metroid Fusion, those same Etecoons and Dachora are found on the Habitation Deck, where they can also be rescued from confinement. From Metroid II to Metroid Fusion, it’s made clear that Samus isn’t as cold as the metallic exterior she wears and she indeed has a motherly side to her. Being raised by a bird-like alien species the Chozo, after the death of her parents on K-2L, the ability to nurture might be instilled in her.

Quite the confrontation.

Before Fusion, we’d occasionally see Samus speak, well probably once in the games in the opening sequence of Super, but if you checked out any of the comics, you’d get more of an idea of the kind of character that Samus was personality-wise. So when Fusion goes the story-based route and Samus’ being fleshed out a bit more, it was a welcome departure. I tend to adore introspection in media, so it’s nice to see this writing technique used in Samus’ case in Fusion. With the elevator scenes diving into her thoughts on specific events in the game, but not only that, there’s some banter between her and the computer A.I. dubbed Adam after her father figure, Adam Malkovich; commanding officer of the Galactic Federation. On the topic of Fusion, there’s an aspect of it that comes to mind when I think about it and it’s the battle between Samus and her X-Parasite clone the SA-X.

Our worst enemy is ourselves, and in Samus’ case isn’t this the truth? Throughout the game, the SA-X is persistently hunting down Samus, resembling Samus’ Super Metroid appearance in Varia Suit, wielding some of her most powerful abilities, the emotionless reflection of Samus. In a way, Fusion is showcasing, how we can persevere in the face of our own demons, accept them and become even stronger. The YouTube channel; Moss Arts, solidifies my perspective on the game with their video; Metroid Fusion: Fear of the Self. Looking back on the game overtime, the final sequence involves Samus, the aforementioned SA-X and the new threat; an Omega Metroid. Samus’ overwhelmed by the Omega Metroid, the SA-X previously defeated by Samus, returns and supports her against it. The SA-X couldn’t hold its own, returning to its original Core-X form, Samus finally absorbs the SA-X. This gave off the impression to me, that Samus had finally accepted herself for who she was, acquiring the Unnamed Suit, more powerful and determined than ever before, wiping out the Omega Metroid with ease. Samus might seem cold or aloof, with her tendency to rely on herself and carry out her missions alone, but deep down there’s a heart that wants the best for living beings across the galaxy.

I guess it’s about time I address the elephant in the room, that being Metroid: Other M. I’ve never played the game personally, not sure if I ever will, but I did look into what it does to poor Samus and Adam even. Samus in Other M is one of the most horrible portrayals of a character I’ve seen and the sad thing is that Adam adds to this poor portrayal. There are scenes that show how much she respects the guy and her sorta rebellious nature, but on the other side, Adam’s deciding her every move and doesn’t give her any chances to shine, at least in the cutscenes. He’s ordering her to do this and that, no action until he says so, even holding Samus back from activating her abilities. Which leads to one of the many infamous moments in the game, where he authorizes Samus to change into her Varia Suit, after a prolonged time burning to death in a room surrounded by lava. Samus’ being portrayed as submissive and frail, especially towards Adam and this is the total opposite of what we’ve expected from the independent nature of the character.

Now, I don’t mind a character having flaws, but with Samus being portrayed to have PTSD in her encounter with Ridley, it’s one that I wouldn’t think much about if it was handled better. The Magazine Z Metroid manga which is canon, was the first source material to introduce Samus’ PTSD, and the trigger’s related to the moment Ridley kills Samus’ parents in her childhood. Samus was paralyzed from her encounter with Ridley, but eventually she’s able to face Ridley head-on and defeat him. The manga leads up to Metroid: Zero Mission, being the first in the Metroid timeline, Other M however, is second to last in the timeline before Fusion. Making the PTSD trigger in Other M seem unrealistic, when the previous games never alluded to Samus having PTSD. Doesn’t help that the trigger undermines Samus in literally every way and once again Adam is ordering her to attack while confronted by Ridley, in her paralyzed state. Devastatingly so, that she reverts back to her Zero Suit. To give the scene credit, Samus does begin to fight back, and the fight in-game certainly makes her look a lot more capable, than she appears usually in the cutscenes. If only the series had often portrayed Samus with PTSD, this scene would have been forgiven, but as it stands it’s another stain on an already mishandled project. Other M has some cool concepts, ambition to further develop Samus and take a more cinematic action game approach, though in the end, it squanders the potential and left the series in a downward spiral. I think my favorite thing that I can take away from Other M, is the one scene where Samus mentions that, Adam’s the only one who she feels understands her, really driving home that Samus feels alone as a bounty hunter.

Yoshio Sakamoto, co-creator of the Metroid series has had his hands on it since the first Metroid. He’s shown that he’s quite attached to the series with his frequent involvement, as director of most of the Metroid games developed in-house, supervision and role as producer. Sakamoto also has knowledge of specific traits that Samus carries, stated in a Super Metroid interview, that he was the only one who knew where Samus’ beauty mark was, that eventually appearing in Other M. Sakamoto’s involvement in Other M, as a director, writer and producer could make him solely responsible for the outcome of the game, but with the coöperation from Team Ninja, the game truly blew up in their faces. Other M shows a lack of expertise in writing, and doesn’t live up to the standards set by the previous games by design, it comes across as a project with no sense of quality control, and I don’t like that the blame has to be put solely on Sakamoto. I’m sure he cares for the series, but his efforts in writing might have needed to be a bit more fine-tuned, for a game that went all out in the cinematic, story-based approach. You can tell that the game’s writing was completely written in his personal vision, and not in the vision that was established in the previous games. Other M‘s story and portrayal of characters really comes off amateurish, not a good image at all for a series so beloved, with its consistency in having well-received games.

While Other M received mostly praise from critics, the vocal majority of the fanbase were negative or mixed about it. After the lukewarm release of Metroid Prime: Federation Force in 2016, six years after Other M by the way, June 13, 2017 both Metroid Prime 4 and Metroid: Samus Returns a remake of Metroid II, were announced during Nintendo’s Treehouse broadcast. It was a good day for Metroid fans and it made this fan in particular rejoice. Yoshio Sakamoto returned as producer on Samus Returns with company Mercury Steam cooperating on the project. There’s controversy that surrounded the fan remake of Metroid II, AM2R(Another Metroid 2 Remake), with Nintendo’s DMCA takedown on the project and the official release of Samus Returns. In the end, the Metroid fans win with two reimaginings, that offer top-notch quality you’d expect from the series. Despite the rocky development of Prime 4, it’s safe to say with its eventual release, that Metroid and Samus’ future are looking a lot more promising

She’s back and hopefully here to stay.

There’s so much I’d like to get into about Samus, so I’ll mention some miscellaneous things that I like about her. First off, her animations gives her a lot more character than you’d initially think. Throughout the series, there’s a clear sign that the developers wanted to portray her character in a particular way, from how she moves, shoot, jump, etc. In the Prime games, there’s more detail put into her visor, occasionally getting a glimpse of her face, how she reacts to her suit and the environment. The Super Smash Bros. series used the classic 2D games as inspiration for Samus’ character animations, but later on starting from Super Smash Bros. Brawl, they take inspiration from the Prime games and Other M. Managing to stay true to the character while having its own interpretation, as usual for the Smash games. Samus is acrobatic, nimble, relaxed, confident, powerful, Samus’ animations provide more insight into the character, depending on the game and considering the cutscenes in the games as well, they’re a nice way to make players relate to her more. Samus is an intergalactic bounty hunter right? She travels the vastness of space, awaiting the next mission to protect the galaxy from potential threats, while that description sounds scary, it also fills me with so much wonder and intrigue in Samus’ character. What planets will she go off to next? Will she find any other life-forms who she can interact with? What possible threat could there be? What does Samus do in her free time? With Samus and the Metroid series, there’s generally an air of mystique that captivates me, and while the series does tap into this with its lore, I feel it could be expanded upon a lot more in the future.

From the very first game, Samus’ identity was a mystery, the booklet even considers her by masculine pronouns, so when finishing the game under five hours revealed her as a female character, that was definitely one of the more mind-blowing moments ever in gaming. From there, the games usually rewarded the player with Samus in a more revealing nature, in the ending screens, depending on how well they performed. This could be seen as objectifying the character, but with how respectful the series portrays Samus, the exception being Other M, I find it neat to see Samus outside of her armor suit, and yeah she’s a beautiful woman! Samus’ design overall is the coolest thing too, from her Power Suit, to her iconic Varia Suit, Zero Suit, Fusion Suit to her underutilized Justin Bailey (A password in the original that makes Samus appear without her Power Suit) look in the leotard. There’s a variety of looks for Samus (I’m a fan of her Fusion Suit especially), that makes her distinct from the many armored heroes in gaming.

Animation from Omegachaino, based on the Samus & Joey manga

Samus Aran is a loner, but she gets through life in the way that she sees fit. Never letting social norms bog her down from protecting the galaxy in her own way. With the DNA of the Chozo infused in her, she’s guided by their power, in pursuing her purpose in being a bounty hunter. Relating this back to my personal life, I continued to isolate myself, after life didn’t go exactly the way I favored. While I stood clouded in the darkness of uncertainty, shame and anxiety, I tried my best to continue to piece myself back together in my way. I managed to keep my optimism and sense of humor, but I could never get myself truly ready for the hero’s journey again. Eventually in this isolated period, my anxiety skyrocketed when I couldn’t bear to show my face to any of my family, who I haven’t seen in so long. I felt the need to research why I was the way that I was, why I needed to isolate myself to find the answers I needed to move on.

The more I researched, I learned why my introverted tendencies and feminine qualities seemed so odd to others and myself. I felt less alone than I ever did, and it really lead me further in accepting who I was. To finally break through this slump in my life, where I felt I was in an endless cycle of regression. Truthfully, this regression that I felt was my key to self-development, and I’m truly grateful for having gone this route. It was how I learned to respect and understand myself, my emotions, what I wanted, what I needed. In isolation, I realized that I truly had a power that I could give to the world, and I grew the spirit in me to pursue what I wanted to do with my life, what I’m meant to do with my life. If you’re an introvert, don’t be ashamed for being who you are, life might push you further and further down, but never give up on it. It’s possible to live your life the way that you are, while striving to be a better you. Allow yourself time for self-reflection and look deep within yourself. Follow your heart and go down your own path, overcoming the challenges ahead. Thank you Nintendo, you’ve created a hero who I feel represents the value of introversion, the symbol of bravery, strength and independence to us all.

See you next mission!

The Garden of Words Review

The Garden of Words is my favorite Makoto Shinkai film, I personally don’t have much of an attachment to 5 Centimeters Per Second, I thought it was okay, it didn’t really do much for me, I feel the complete opposite about The Garden of Words. I haven’t seen Your Name yet, but I have a feeling this one will continue to resonate with me a lot more.

The Garden of Words is a romance film, that revolves around a teenage boy who skips school during the rainy mornings, spending time alone. Eventually, he comes across an older woman who’s also spending her time alone at the same park he does, their meeting sparks a light in the two of them.

What The Garden of Words does to convey the relationship is by use of nature and the weather that surrounds them, frequent rain drops, trees, rivers, the sun, these different elements play a role in displaying the emotions that the characters are feeling. It also determines exactly how the characters will act throughout. With Takao’s reluctance to skip classes when it’s sunny out and Yukino’s want for the rain, when her life is too much for her to bear alone. The rain plays an active role in keeping the two together or… keeping them away. This aspect is emphasized, about half of the film has shots that showcase the beauty of the Shinjuku Gyoen National Garden or Shinjuku itself.  Shinkai’s strength is in his depiction of background elements to the point that the characters have to look more simplified, really helps give his films a distinct look and it’s one element that I particularly adore about this one. Ever since childhood I’ve had a certain fondness for the rain, the sound of raindrops hitting the roof was comforting after a long day of school while carrying off into my hobbies or going into a cozy sleep. I was enthused to play in it even, but it always resulted in me either getting a cold or being scolded by mom about getting one. Rain was always a sense of relief for me, where it felt the best in solitude, at the comfort of my home.

The Garden of Words is that type of film you watch once and yeah it might seem forgettable somewhat, and the things that stood out were pretty much the visuals and ending, but I eagerly wanted to rewatch it to get something more. While the plot doesn’t do much to flesh out the characters and their struggles, what I appreciated were the little moments between Takao and Yukino, those short-lived exchanges in the park subtly made an impact on the two and while they were simple, they were enjoyable enough to keep my interest. I was able to feel for their relationship, being their unique different selves, showing interest in each other and their longing to meet again. I adore how Takao’s dream career of shoe making is a part of the story that managed to be Yukino’s way of pushing forward, her struggle in keeping herself standing in a steady position, conveniently is what Takao tries to help her out with in making her a new pair of shoes. It’s a detail that I never thought deeply of and it fits so well thematically.  Love or “koi” was originally written as “lonely sadness” in the Man’yōshū era, Man’yōshū(Collection of old Japanese poetry) poetry and/or Tanka, a genre of Japanese poetry, was used to tie Takao and Yukino’s relationship, and “longing for someone in solitude” is a theme prevalent in the story.

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Garden of Words’ soundtrack is very fitting, the kind that’s pretty much background noise at first, though it does grow on you overtime. It certainly heightens the scenes that they accompany, especially the ending theme “Rain” by Motohiro Hata that plays at the emotional climax throughout the credits, you think that it’s just another background track at first it’s so well implemented. The audio tracks for this film, I think the Japanese dub is absolutely perfect and it gives off the tranquil, yet bittersweet emotion that I thoroughly enjoy about it. A gentle tone that the Japanese VA execute supremely, while being more heavy or emotional when the time comes right. On the other hand, the English dub while it’s well performed, the script is a bit too harsh for my liking, there’s more swearing, the tone feels more heavy in general and it just gives off the opposite feeling of The Garden of Words that I like. Props to the dubbing studio for pulling through with great performances, but I guess Garden of Words just doesn’t work for me with English voices. I would only recommend the dub if you prefer to watch Anime dubbed in general, if you enjoy both sub and dub, go for the sub and watch it dubbed if you’re curious about the vocal delivery and just want to take in the visuals. It’s personal preference obviously, but this is one of those films that I can’t watch again dubbed, considering how it pretty much goes against the tone that I enjoy with the original audio track.

There’s a Manga and novel of The Garden of Words too, I haven’t read the novel, but I did give the Manga a shot. I would say that it excels at giving Takao and Yukino’s relationship more depth, since it actually goes into detail with the events that take place, storytelling is its strong point, though visually the movie easily trumps it. Can’t deny that it was a nice read when I was longing for more of the relationship between the two, so I would totally recommend it if you feel the same after watching The Garden of Words.

Art from 浦助(Urasuke)

Well, I think I’ve about said all I had to say about how I feel about the film in general, though that wasn’t “all” I had to say. The main reason I wanted to write this blog was the feeling that this movie invoked after a couple of rewatches, yeah I did mention that I watched this movie more than once and that I actually “wanted” to watch it more than once. Back in high school, I simply watched this film, loved it, but it didn’t have any impact on me whatsoever and I kinda just wanted more from it. Then again, whenever I looked back on it I always thought about how beautiful it was, I ended up buying the Blu-ray around Christmas in 2018, and after the end of my third watch, it really got to me.

It speaks for itself.

I spent most of 2018 isolating myself from people and my responsibilities, I had my reasons, but there really was something I noticed that I really missed after that third watch… it was having genuine conversations with people outside of my family and internet friends. I generally keep to myself, I was always an introvert, I don’t ever call or text anyone outside of my family, hardly hung out with friends away from school, haven’t even gotten in contact with recent or old real friends outside of the internet anyway, I’m bad with it online too. That feeling that I needed someone else to stay beside me intimately, that thought of having someone I dearly loved, that love being unrequited, never being in contact with them despite being friends and actually wanting to get back with them, never doing so. I really missed just seeing new faces, meeting new people, making new friends, a decent conversation with anyone else in the world that I never saw or just one that would brighten up my day. It felt like I took that for granted after seeing The Garden of Words again, I really want to do something to change that, in whatever possible way I can, as small as it is, it’ll be for better relationships, a better social life and a more fulfilling life. How invested I was in just watching these two people exchange simple conversations, how they inspired each other and how that escalated into a roar of emotions built up throughout, as unearned, cheesy or melodramatic as the climax was, it was honestly the best way it could have concluded.

The Garden of Words to me, is a film that excels at what it does, despite not fully developing or pushing the envelope for very compelling storytelling. A story of two people who are going about their lives, are struggling, find an escape that leads them to each other, and they begin to long for one another in their solace. With its stunning visuals, attention to environmental and background detail, strong thematic threads, complementary soundtrack, positive message of having someone to live for or/and have someone to keep yourself moving forward and its simple, yet bittersweet romance. The Garden of Words will be a film that I continue to look back on and remember the positive impact it made on my life in 2018, when I needed it most. Here’s to a good new year in 2019.

A faint clap of thunder / Even if rain comes not / I will stay here, / Together with you.

Songs I Want in Smash 5 #4

Lightning from F-Zero: GP Legend.

Super obscure pick, but I feel that the F-Zero selection is very lacking. Especially with some of the more unpopular tracks they could bring back and remix, this is one of those. Like, all that has to be done is a fucking arrangement and you’re golden, it definitely deserves it. Plus, there isn’t a representative for the Lightning course, so either this or the one in GX gets in and I think this one would be a better fit.

 

Songs I Want in Smash 5 #3

The Summoned from Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII

Hey, Cloud’s in Smash 4 and if him and the game’s other guests manages to transition to Smash 5, then I see no reason not to add more FFVII music. Including one of my personal favs from the prequel game Crisis Core, it was always hype for me. I know it’s technically a remix of Final Fantasy VII’s “Fight On!” which is already in Smash 4’s OST, but it’s still a track I would love to see.

Songs I Want in Smash 5 #2

Fight Against Smithy from Super Mario RPG

If Yoko Shimomura’s Mario & Luigi OSTs are in Smash 4 and “The Grand Finale” from Bowser’s Inside Story is in there, why not an SMRPG selection of tracks?! This one is one of my personal favs, despite never finishing the game myself, it’s waaaay too good.

Songs I Want in Smash 5 #1

Crystal Cave from Sonic and the Black Knight

Just listen to it! I can imagine Sonic fighting Cloud to this one and the OST for that game in general is underrated af. Atleast Knight of the Wind is in Smash 4 tho.

My Top Ten Most Anticipated Video Games of 2018

It’s early February, everyone is getting more comfortable in the year setting their foot further into whatever goals they wish to achieve and video games are getting more and more exciting to behold. Everyone and their moms have been praising how amazing of a year in gaming 2017 was, and that set a high standard for the coming years. There’s some exciting stuff that’s been in development, it’s always a thing in the industry and this year isn’t no different.

We all have our video games that we personally “hope” and anticipate to release in the year and while there’s been a couple that I’ve been anticipating that released like, Dragon Ball FighterZ and Monster Hunter World, I really wanted to think harder and share my thoughts on what games “I’m” the most excited for. I’ll only be including games that’s been confirmed to release this year too, even if it might seem unlikely. So, let’s dive into this!

10. Red Dead Redemption 2 

It’s been years since the release of the original Red Dead Redemption, which was my personal favorite Open-World game and has never been topped since. Maybe it’s the Wild West setting and story, the gameplay that made the game so addicting to me, the world map being so large and interesting, it was hard for me not to enjoy the game throughout. I never completed the game 100% like I wanted, but there being a sequel in the works that could deliver an even larger world, new gameplay mechanics, enjoyable Western plot with top notch acting, and characters that are somewhat interesting, rivaling the first game’s quality. I think we’re in for another Rockstar Games hit.

9. Mega Man 11 

It’s great to see the Blue Bomber make another revival, but this time with a step in the right and refreshing direction. No longer will Mega Man be tied to that NES nostalgia trip, now we’re hitting the next generation of Mega Man in a 3D cel-shaded art style and a fresh new redesign for Mega Man and co. All Mega Man fans should be excited, because Capcom is finally making that next step to please the starving fans once again, with a new found passion. Here’s hoping it doesn’t become another Blue Bomb…

8. Spider-Man

Spider-Man getting a new game from Insomniac Games? Who’d imagine that? Spider-Man is my personal favorite comic book hero and despite playing a couple of the Spider-Man games like, Ultimate Spider-Man(GBA), Web of Shadows and Shattered Dimensions, I don’t really have the most fondest memories of playing these games, despite enjoying WoS a lot. That experience I had with the Spider-Man games never stuck with me, I guess from the ones I played they just didn’t do much for me. With the upcoming game, it’s going to be big budget, cinematic and open-world as expected. Plus, the Arkham Asylum style of gameplay is welcome, considering how well done it was in those games, the only thing that worries me about this new game is the QTEs getting in the way of the overall gameplay. Otherwise, I have high hopes for this title and hope it delivers really well.

7. Soul Calibur VI

I’ve never been a fan of the Soul Calibur series, but I’ve always appreciated it. I did play some SC, SCII, bought SCIII, played a lot of that and rented SCV, and enjoyed it for what it was, but that SC competitive scene? I’ve never dipped my toes into and with SCVI I think I’ll be interested. I never really spent time trying to git gud at the SC games and the time is finally coming, the game is looking very solid.

Taking some cues from Tekken 7 and bringing back the more fast-paced gameplay from the original two SC games, that the hardcore fans are ecstatic about. Fingers crossed for Tira and Setsuka’s return, I loved those characters a lot in SCIII, although Xianghua and Sophitia look like characters I can see myself learning, along with Kilik, Nightmare, Mitsurugi and Zasalamel, from the currently revealed roster. Looking forward to another amazing fighting game title from Bandai Namco!

6. Dragon Quest XI

Being someone who’s never touched the Dragon Quest games from the looks of it, this one is shaping up to be my very first entry. This game will take a more open-world approach to the formula, but still retain the same turn-based combat, so that’s pretty awesome. I’m just in for that Akira Toriyama art style, a simple, enjoyable plot, a compelling cast of characters. Good ol’ JRPG charm and adventure, I don’t know if I’ll be picking up both the 3DS and PS4 versions, but I think I just might hehe, I love me some Chrono Trigger so I gotta see what the fuss is all about you know?

5. Street Fighter 30th Anniversary Collection

Oh yeah Street Fighter! I’ve been a fan of the series, since early on in my childhood and with this game’s announcement trailer along side the rumors before it, it got me so pumped for this release! It will contain literally every iteration of the franchise that came to the arcades and that’s definitely a steal from the price it’s asking for. Gallery modes and all the extra goodies you would expect, it also includes netplay for Street Fighter II Turbo: Hyper Fighting, Super Street Fighter II Turbo, Street Fighter Alpha 3 and Street Fighter III: 3rd Strike. Unfortunately, Street Fighter Alpha 2 won’t have netplay, but there’s always FightCade.

The collection sounds super promising for all SF fans, including me, just have good netcode please! I also wish, the best console versions of some of these were ported instead, but it’s fine sticking to the arcade versions, it’s a bummer that Alpha 3 Max with all of those extra modes and characters like Eagle, Yun, Maki and Ingrid probably won’t make the collection. I’m not sure if they’re going to use the vanilla version of SFA3 only, but it would be strange considering there’s other arcade releases of SFA3, I hope they at least add the latest version or give us the option to choose. Oh well, it’s going to be pretty awesome though, just don’t fuck up the netcode, the game won’t be worth it, if that’s the case. It’ll just be amazing being able to play Third Strike and Alpha 3 on my PS4 and all the other current gen platforms, in the best way you could possibly play all of these SF games, hopefully…

4. Bloodstained: Ritual of the Night

Castlevania: Symphony of the Night is one of my all-time favorite video games and Bloodstained is its spiritual successor, an Kickstarter game headed by Koji Igarashi who’ s mainly responsible for the Metroidvania style Castlevania games. Considering most of those were pretty top-notch, I have high hopes that Iga is capable of delivering a quality  product, along with his team. I know there’s people out there who are cynical about it and are predicting that it’ll be another failure like Yooka-Laylee and the infamous  Mighty No. 9, but personally I think this will be one of the few successful Kickstarter titles backed by a creative mind, progressing forward from a previous establishment. I’m just that confident in Iga and it looks like development is going smoothly, nothing has given it a bad name so far.

Otherwise, having a new heroine is exciting, Miriam as a character design is very appealing, the bosses, Michiru Yamane’s(as well as Jake Kaufman and whoever else) music and environments are giving that Gothic-Horror vibe that I fucking adore. As much as I would prefer this game to use pixel art or hand-drawn animation, the game still has a cel-shaded visual style that sticks out in a good way. I’m pretty excited for Bloodstained, I have been since its announcement and I’m crossing my fingers that the development for this one wasn’t all for naught, I’m still confident in its success though.

3. Fighting EX Layer

Ooooooh hell yeah! Do you know how fucking long I’ve been waiting for these characters to return?! The first game I ever got my hands on and vividly remember playing was the underrated Street Fighter EX Plus Alpha, it was the video game that pretty much shaped my taste in many things, video games, music, etc and it was just an overall enjoyable fighting game that I could put tons of hrs into without getting enough of it. It made me the fighting game fan that I am today and you know for sure that it had some original characters that I wanted to come back in new Capcom games or Arika at least coming back with a new title with them in it. Years ago, there was the Fighting Sample that Arika created for the 3DS that included a couple of the SFEX originals like, Hokuto, Shadowgeist, Kairi, Blair and whoever, but it never became an actual thing until 2017’s April Fool’s joke from Arika…

Kairi, Hokuto and Garuda in the Unreal Engine 4?! It was a hype reveal, but was it going to be real? Thank the Gods, it’s actually going to be a real fucking game and I’m so looking forward to kicking ass with my favorites such as Skullomania, Doctrine Dark, Cracker Jack, Area, Pullum and Garuda! From the Open Beta it was quite promising, the mechanics are pretty cool as well, despite being a little broken, they do add another “layer” to the matches. The game could possibly flop, but the game actually being a fairly polished and captivating fighter is enough to get my thirst quenched, it’s a passion project that I can see having a lot of effort and love put into it, the success is in your hands Arika!

(Some gameplay I captured, to catch your interest)

2. Travis Strikes Again: No More Heroes

I think we all saw a new title in the No More Heroes series coming eventually and with the release of the Nintendo Switch, that lingering thought and speculation has become a reality. Despite not being the third installment in the series, this spin-off game definitely catches my interest, with Travis Touchdown making a return along with a relative to one of Travis’ previous assassinated, introduced in this game, Badman. From the gameplay revealed just recently, it looks to take different gameplay perspectives compared to the previous titles and it still looks super fun and similar to the others as well. Though I hope the gameplay isn’t stripped down too much, I doubt that’ll be the case really and it’ll still be a pretty fun game. Co-op play has been revealed too, which is pretty fucking awesome.

It’s been confirmed that each assassination will take place in the world of Indie games and that concept alone brings even more hype for me, considering the unpredictability of it. Existing Indie titles won’t be explored anymore, like Hotline Miami or Shovel Knight and they will instead be used as cameos for Travis’ T-Shirt designs apparently, but I’m very curious how the original indie titles will be incorporated into the game, the portrayal of Travis himself and all of the new unique characters I’m sure Suda and his team will bring to the table(They certainly take unique forms, *wink* *wink*). I’ve been waiting for a new NMH(Hell, replaying the NMH games currently) title for years and seeing the series not dead, warms my heart and gets me ecstatic, I just need a Nintendo Switch and I’m good to go!

Before I go into my number one, I want to give a couple of titles honorable mentions:

Death Stranding

Hideo Kojima’s new baby, as a big fan of the guy myself my eyes have been dead set on this one and with the recent trailer, my interest has only risen. Kojima himself has revealed that this game will release before 2019 and a couple of days ago it was also revealed that the production of the game has been a fast process, I don’t know how to feel about this, but hopefully that’s more so a good thing than a bad thing, and it’s probably a good thing it’s fucking Kojima.

If the release date was actually confirmed I would have had it in my top 5 though, maybe number 3 or something haha. Otherwise, I’m definitely fucking excited for this one if it’s actually releasing this year. It looks wildly weird and intriguing, as expected from the man himself.

Super Smash Bros. for Switch

Now for my most anticipated game of the year.

1. Kingdom Hearts III

Here’s the big boy, Tetsuya Nomura’s magnum opus(well, what we all hope) Kingdom Hearts III! KHIII is probably one of the most anticipated video game sequels of all-time if you look back, along with Sonic Adventure 3(RIP?), Half-Life 3(RIP), Shenmue 3, Mega Man Legends 3(RIP?), the list goes on, but yeah out of all of those KHIII is actually the massive one. KHIII is that one that, we’ve been teased about, since the release of KHII along with all of the spin-off titles. Everyone’s been waiting eagerly for this release and it looks like we’ll be finally seeing that become a reality this year. Reuniting with the gang in the new Kingdom Shader, powered by Unreal Engine 4, pretty much the best you will ever see these characters so far in the series. Exploring the Disney worlds that we know and love, this time having new ones from Toy Story, Tangled, Big Hero 6 and the recently revealed Monsters, Inc, Toy Story being the one that pretty much drove me to tears when it was revealed.

Since, it’s been confirmed that the team that worked on the original KH games and the Osaka team that worked on Birth by Sleep and Dream Drop Distance have combined their efforts to develop KHIII, this will be KH in its truest form and despite the trailers being before that merge I think, it’s truly showing in the trailers that’s been revealed, the game is looking just fantastic! Seeing the story of Sora and his friendship with Donald and Goofy finally come to a close will be a captivating one for sure, and will probably be one we cherish every second of. It’ll be quite the experience to behold the finale of the Dark Seeker Saga, we’re all ready for the final confrontation of Sora and Xehanort, and I hope that it’ll be the conclusion that etches a deep impact into our hearts. An impact that reminds us in the midst of our constantly aging selves that, our child-like wonder and grasping for the things that we grew up with, shouldn’t ever die, “Don’t Think Twice” about that. 😉

Shadow of the Colossus Review

So, I finally finished Shadow of the Colossus and to be honest after I finished it, I was grateful for the experience, but saddened that it had to come to an end. I know I could always replay it yeah, but there was something about playing SotC day after day, despite knowing of what’s to come, considering I’ve spoiled the game long ago when the Game Grumps did an LP of it, that never stopped me from wanting to play the game myself of course and yes, this game is totally worth the praise it gets. There’s just something that makes the experience of playing it so special and I think it has to do with the balance of traveling with your horse, Agro, in these quiet, calming ventures through the game’s barren, yet beautiful world. Then, eventually marking your target, the Colossi and going for the kill, hanging on to dear life to slay these giants, in the most intense and nail-biting moments in gaming, just to save a girl.

I think this balance is what makes SotC such a captivating and amazing experience, it’s not just the balance it’s how that balance is executed throughout the game, there’s just never a dull moment. The plot is quite basic, but what truly shines when it comes to the game’s narrative is just how everything is shown to you by visual information, nothing is ever in your face about what happens in the duration of the game, the narrative is shaped by what you see throughout and what is being visually stated(There’s so many details in the game like this, even outside of the cutscenes), there’s only a few moments of exposition and that really works for the game’s show and not tell approach. The saving your loved one, in the process of questioning your own morality is that type of story in any form of media(NieR/NieR: Automata is one of my favs for that reason as well) that I just adore, so it gets bonus points for that.

The movement physics given to Wander brings this very satisfying feeling of weightiness and looseness that makes fighting the Colossi and just exploring the world itself, a very rewarding task(You can joke about Wander’s walking animation, but the way it’s animated gives off this visual dopamine for me, that it’s something I can’t ever get enough of). Speaking of the Colossi, the majority of them are actually very fun to fight and are all interesting confrontations, there was definitely some frustration had when fighting a couple of them, not to the detriment of the game, since that made defeating them all the more relieving. Most sporting very cool designs, Gaius(3), Phaedra(4), Barba(6), the art direction and character designs are another thing about SotC I can totally appreciate, Wander especially has a design that’s very appealing to me as the main character you play as.

For the PS2 version and the PS3 remaster, there’s that bloom effect to the game that gives it this heavenly, dream-like feel to it and it’s so appealing to the eyes, there’s so much to go into detail about how the game looks, but I think the visual style really holds up, even today. The soundtrack is nothing to down-play either, it really gives the game its identity, adding an extra layer to what the narrative of the game could possibly tell, it really tells a story for every moment that a track accompanies and it is masterful.

Shadow of the Colossus was a game that I kinda already loved from just the footage of it that I saw, but I knew if I just got my hands on it, that it would end up being probably one of my all-time favorite video games and guess what? It definitely is, though time will tell where I’ll have it in my top list, but it’s up there. The fact that I’m writing about it now, even without much emotional attachment(Oh yeah, the ending definitely made me tear up) in terms of nostalgia anyway, my experience with SotC was a special one and I loved it so, that I felt such an empty void, that I needed to fill it by speaking passionately about it. I don’t know if I’ll find another game that can give me the same experience that this one did, not to say it’s my favorite video game, it was a game that had given me a time in gaming that most others never accomplished and I enjoyed every second of it. I’m definitely looking forward to playing both Ico and The Last Guardian, possibly any game that Team Ico develops.